This is not going to be a happy week of posts

Welp. That’s it. My life is over.

I suppose I’d better just spit out the results:

General Studies (B), English Lit (B), Biology (C), Psychology (C), Extended Project (B).

BBCC is not a bad result (unless you go to my school, meaning I can never speak of my results to anyone who attends there, ever). However, it is not enough to get me to Royal Holloway, the entrance requirements being ABB for the courses I’m considering.

On the other hand…if I call up Royal Holloway and offer to do whatever they feel is necessary to gain a place, whether that be resit all of my exams or dance around Gloucester wearing nothing but a dunce’s cap and a bikini made out of my results (maybe not), perhaps they will consider me.

Of course, the next step is to actually start the applications process. Maybe, just maybe, if I can write an impressive enough Personal Statement and kind of…gloss over the actual results…

OK, that’s my stock of hope used up for the day.

Royal Holloway have a reputation for accepting people with lower grades than the requirements, but I’m not sure if they’d do it for someone who’s applying with the grades already.

The worst part is that the Cs are in subjects I really needed As for. The Psychology was dragged down by my PSYA4 paper, which I got an E in. The Biology results were just terrible all around. This is a major problem for me: Biology is my favourite subject, I’m pretty good at it in a lesson situation, I dare say I’m very good at it when I have to apply it in actual situations, but the exams cause me to fall to pieces. Mostly because I didn’t revise enough. There, I said it: I Did Not Do Enough Revision. Of course, I did more than I ever have in my life (four weeks solid revising) and that definitely bumped it up a couple of UMS points.

But, anyway, c’est la vie, and I can retake. This time, I can retake without the stress of school and music exams. I can retake where I want and in whatever exams I want. 

The only thing that worries me about retaking is that I’m scared I’ll bugger it all up by panicking in the exam again. I’ve been so much better recently, but I also know that I panic in exam situations. I’m absolutely terrified that I’ll spend a lot of money on retaking, get a semi-conditional offer at Royal Holloway, and come out of it with mediocre grades again.

I suppose the only thing to do now is wait until tomorrow and call Royal Holloway. I am honestly prepared to do anything it takes to get there; it is my dream university.

There are two reasons for why I’m waiting until tomorrow to call them. Clearing is taking priority today, and I have a year to sort out my problems, whereas other people only have a few weeks. Also, I got slightly less than three hours sleep last night and I am mildly concerned that my eyeballs are about to fall out of my head.


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