You know it’s bad when people start romanticising their neurotransmitters

Biochemistry necklace - which one would you choose?
A necklace of WRONG

I found the above picture on the internet, and I’m in a science mood today so

*takes science brain out of cupboard, wipes off dust, puts in head*

I am going to be informing all of you in a condescending and thoroughly irritating science-rant as to why the above picture  is wrong. You have been warned.

Here’s a link to where I found it. They want you to pick which of the hormones you’d want to have. I have no issue with that.

do have an issue, however, with the information you get given to help you decide. Actually, they’re all right ALL WRONG. SO WRONG.

OK, I can see where the ‘happy’ part of serotonin comes from. Unfortunately, they omit the minor detail that, sans serotonin, you can watch yourself spiral into a depressive slump. Have fun with that one.

The only part of the dopamine one they got a bit right was the ‘passion’ part. Although

*switches on loudspeaker and clears throat*

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.

*switches off loudspeaker* Thank you.

Normal levels of dopamine are fine, and they’re necessary for a lot of brain functions. However, elevate those levels and one of the things you get is aggression. Also schizophrenia

Yeah, I don’t see love anywhere in that.

Also, too little and you get Parkinson’s.

Finally, acetylcholine. I have no idea where these particular ‘functions’ came from, but they’re all wrong. Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter. It’s main function is to transport impulses from the synaptic knob *snigger* of one neurone through the synaptic cleft *double snigger* and into another neurone.

And dreaming, memory and learning are all actually controlled by dopamine.

So, it’s a lovely idea, but it might have worked a bit better if they’d got the functions right.

*takes out science brain*

Whew. Glad I got that one off my chest.

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